Only If For a Night
by MyShame7
Summary: Missing scenes for S3 "Probie". McNozzo *Slash* Feelz with implied Tibbs relationship so if it's not your thing...


**Slash is something I enjoy reading but, until now, have never written myself, but trust me, I know smut. I would really like to hear from the Slash reading/ writing population on how you feel this turned out. If this isn't your thing, don't read it. THIS FIC IS RATED M FOR GOOD REASON.**

**This is a missing scene for S3 "Probie". The first time I saw this episode, this fic started writing itself and I knew I was a little hooked on McNozzo. This fic assumes an established Tibbs relationship and touches on it breifly. I could actually write a second fic on Tibbs dealing with the after effects of this but I think I will leave it alone for now. Essentially, I ship Tony with anyone and this fic is written, at least nominally, from his POV. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS but if I did, it would have to show on cable, and working out shirtless on a balcony in Cannes and posting it on Twitter would be written into MDubs contract. Just Sayin'.**

* * *

Tony shuffled the paperwork on his desk for the thousandth time and glanced surreptitiously over at McGee. It was obvious the Probie was focused on something other than the screen in front of him and his red rimmed eyes looked damp with unshed tears.

He felt for the guy, he really did. Sure, tears weren't his usual method of dealing with things but in a way, he admired how the younger man could wear his heart on his sleeve so brazenly.

When the junior agent packed up and headed for the elevator a few minutes later, they were still no closer to solving the mystery of the missing bullet and gun and Tony knew they were sentencing Tim to a lonely sleepless night of self doubt and self loathing. He couldn't help feeling like he was partly responsible for letting down a member of his team.

The surprising and familiar warmth of Gibbs' hand squeezing his shoulder affectionately made him turn away just as the elevator doors slid shut. Something played across Gibbs' face that reflected exactly what Tony was feeling.

Jethro leaned down until the warmth of his breath stirred the tiny hairs on Tony's earlobe and sent uncontrollable shocks down the length of his spine. He gritted his teeth and willed himself not to get hard. There was a really good reason they didn't do this at work.

"Give the kid what he needs," Gibbs whispered, lips just barely grazing the curve of his ear as he withdrew.

"Boss?" He looked up at Gibbs and searched the older man's face for clarification. Some instructions came from his team leader, some from his lover. This one was coming from both.

Gibbs answered his unspoken question with a stoic nod. "Only tonight, Tony," he said pointedly. "He's family and he's hurting and he needs _you_."

"Why me?" Tony asked, resisting the urge to smack his own head the minute the words were out of his mouth.

"You know why," Gibbs responded rigidly. "Don't make me ask twice, DiNozzo."

"Got it," he responded automatically, somewhat in shock by what his lover was asking of him. He didn't generally question orders from Gibbs, no matter what title he was issuing them under. He wasn't about to start now.

Long fingers skated over the back of his neck fleetingly as Gibbs released his shoulder. It was unusual for him to show this much affection in public even though the casual gestures would go unnoticed by all but the best trained observer. Tony knew how difficult it must be for Gibbs to make this request, understood, how the physical contact, however ephemeral, served to reaffirm the intimate bond that existed between them and assert possession.

Tony began to slowly clear his desk and gather his go bag as Gibbs ascended the stairs to the director's office without a backward glance. Once Gibbs was out of sight, he reached into his bottom drawer and shoved a few of its contents deep into his pocket. Instructions or no, he was uncomfortable with the idea of his lover watching him stow lube and condoms to go off for a night with another man.

* * *

_I know it's bad. I've been where you are. A week from now this will all be behind you, just a bad memory._

* * *

"How do you even start to feel better after something like this? Tony, what if I killed an innocent man?"

McGee's voice sounded hollow and haunted and it tugged hard at something in his chest he wasn't entirely comfortable with. Tony quickly placed the carton of milk he had been about to drink from back on the shelf of the refrigerator and closed the door.

Glancing over at Tim's hanging head and hunched shoulders, he fingered the foil covered circle in his pants pocket thoughtfully. There really weren't too many options left that he could think of. Tony DiNozzo was a man of limited means when it came to comforting. With a few rare exceptions, if you couldn't feed it, drown it in alcohol, or fuck it senseless, the pain of others was something he found very difficult to deal with.

Slipping off his jacket and dropping it in a chair, he moved slowly to where McGee sat hunched over his keyboard. The computer screen reflected the younger man's trembling lower lip and damp eyes and made it easy to see the surprise that bloomed when he placed his hands gently on the Probie's trembling shoulders.

"Tony…"he protested weakly, clearly certain he was about to take more ribbing from the senior agent.

"Just relax, Tim." Tony pressed in and circled his thumbs against the tension in McGee's shoulders, long fingers dipping into the loose collar of his t-shirt to knead the area just above his clavicle. "It does get easier, Probie."

"Yeah, well I don't think it will ever get easy for me," McGee muttered morosely.

"I didn't say it would get easy, just easier. If it ever gets easy, it's time to worry." Tony's hands continued to work insistently against knotted muscles. The kid had some surprisingly nice shoulders.

"Do you remember your first?" McGee asked quietly, leaning back against the soothing pressure of Tony's skilled fingers.

"I remember every one, Probie," he sighed sadly, "every single one."

"How do you do it?

Tony shrugged. "You learn how to tuck it away, to push it to the background. It's always still there though. That feeling is the thing that stays your hand when you're all alone in a dark room with the scum of the earth, weighing the option of a quick bullet to the head that no one could ever blame you for. It's the thing that keeps you from becoming a vigilante who's no different than the assholes we collar."

"How can you stand feeling like this?"

"I can stand it for the same reason you're going to be able to stand it. Because the weight of the lives that we take is more than balanced by the lives we save."

"I want to stop it, Tony, to feel anything other than what I'm feeling right now. I just don't know how."

"You will. We all find a distraction that works, eventually. For Gibbs its building boats, for Ziva, its sharpening her knife collection or cleaning her guns. For me, sometimes it means getting lost in _Casablanca_ with Bogie and Bergman, sometimes it means drowning the pain in…in someone else, even for just a little while." An image of Gibbs flashed in his mind and he fought back a pang of guilt. He understood why Gibbs had sent him here tonight, knew McGee needed what only he could offer at the moment, and in a way, he appreciated that Gibbs trusted him to take care of another member of their family. But permission or no, it still felt like cheating.

They were both quiet for a moment, McGee obviously mulling over Tony's words.

"Anyone ever tell you that you have unusually soft skin, McGee?" he asked, voice low and husky as he let himself be aware of the warmth beginning to pool in his belly.

"Not really," Tim responded, shifting uncomfortably.

"You do. Soft and creamy, almost like a woman's." Tony couldn't help it, he leaned down and pressed his lips to the junction of McGee's neck and shoulder, testing Tim's taste and texture with the tip of his tongue. The younger man tensed beneath him but Tony held him in place with firm hands.

"Tony," he gasped, "what are you doing?"

"Distracting you," he whispered, moving his mouth hotly across ropey tendon.

"But Tony, I'm not…I mean, I don't…" McGee's half-hearted objection ended in a low moan as Tony opened his mouth and laved the sensitive spot just below his ear with a rasping tongue, gently sucking warmth to the surface of his pale skin.

Tim made no move to push Tony away, only canted his head to allow him easier access.

"The flesh wants what it wants, McGee," Tony whispered, "and I've known what yours wants for a while now." The skin beneath his hands became warm and flushed.

"But Gibbs…" he groaned as Tony pulled his shirt over his head and ran his hands up and down his back in long strokes.

"Is the one who sent me here tonight, Probie."His fingers circled McGee's pointed nipples in a way that was anything but teasing. "Mmm…so soft," he whispered, suckling an earlobe.

With one hand, Tony undid the buttons of his own shirt and let it hang loosely from his shoulders, gazing down to where McGee had tented his boxers. The head of his cock had slipped through the hole in the fly and Tony licked his lips in anticipation of tasting the droplet of moisture that had already formed at his tip. He could feel his own erection beginning to strain the seams of his jeans.

Still fighting his own needs, McGee continued to try to wrap his head around what was happening between them. "But Tony, you're not…I mean, you like women."

"I like lots of things, Probie. I learned a long time ago that my sex drive is far too high to limit its desires to just one gender." He straightened and quickly undid the top two buttons of his fly, pushing down his boxers over the tip of his twitching cock and walking around to face McGee who looked both incredibly turned on and completely dumbfounded by this strange turn of events. "Do you think I would be here right now if I didn't want to be, Tim?"

He anchored a shirt tail to his hip so the younger man could clearly view the hard evidence of his own arousal. Tony knew his length and girth were impressive by any standards and he enjoyed watching McGee's face flush with desire at the first sight of him.

McGee swallowed hard but eventually found his voice. "You're sure this isn't some kind of sick joke?" he asked suspiciously, hungry eyes glued to Tony's cock.

Tony reached out and cupped the younger man's jaw, tracing his thumb slowly over his plump and pouty lower lip while simultaneously shoving his pants and briefs down around his ankles. "Does this look like a joke to you, Tim?" His voice sounded thick, even to his own ears.

A tentative hand reached out to trace the long arching curve of his cock and Tony stepped between McGee's legs as Tim leaned forward and began to explore the hard flat plain of his stomach with his mouth. Eager hands kneaded his ass and before he even had a chance to take control of the situation, soft, full lips closed hungrily over the tip of his erection.

Tony sucked in a sharp breath. "I'm the one who's supposed to be distracting you, Probie," he growled.

McGee's mouth made a tiny pop as he released Tony's cock. "Consider me distracted," he panted, lowering himself back down to swallow the thick shaft greedily.

Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo couldn't recall the last time he's had his dick so thoroughly and expertly sucked. Usually he was the one doling out the oral attentions and he found the role reversal infinitely enjoyable. McGee was like a starving man who had just discovered an endless buffet and as the stroking of his lips, tongue and fingers became increasingly insistent and more coordinated, Tony found himself completely lost in the incredible sensations assaulting his body. As he bucked his hips involuntarily and rhythmically stroked the soft stubble on Tim's bobbing head, he suddenly became aware that he had walked right up to the edge of release without even realizing it.

"Fuck, Tim, if you don't stop, you're gonna make me come," Tony managed breathlessly, already feeling the telltale tightening in his balls. He tried to pull back but the hand around his cock only tightened to hold him in place. "Probie!" he choked out as he surrendered to the sweet pressure, body going rigid, hands gripping McGee's shoulders so tightly he feared he would leave bruises. He spent himself in relentless hot bursts, straight into the eager mouth that swallowed every drop of his cum like it was the sweetest ambrosia and licked him clean while he trembled and moaned.

Tony dropped to his knees as his body went limp, resting his dewy forehead heavily on Tim's thigh and sucking sharp and shuddering breaths of much needed air into his lungs. Tender hands stroked his sweat dampened hair and slid soothingly across his shoulders as he slowly recovered. When he finally gathered the energy to lift his head, he found the younger man staring at him with raw and undisguised need. Tony levered himself up and dragged Tim's mouth to his insistently, tasting his own salty tang on those luscious plump lips.

McGee returned his kiss with enthusiasm and surprising skill, wrapping his tongue around Tony's and nipping lightly at his lips in an intricate and well practiced advance and retreat. Tim's impatient hands pushed his shirt from his shoulders, roamed eagerly over the hard muscles of his back and fanned through his hair with increasing urgency until Tony felt his cock begin to stir again.

He pulled back and looked at Tim in delighted surprise. Tony had never expected this type of unrelenting passion from McGee nor his obviously honed skills as a lover. Standing slowly, he stepped out of the pants that were still pooled around his ankles and reached into one pocket, extracting the items he had tucked away earlier.

Holding out a hand to McGee, he gently pulled him to his feet and into his arms. "Just for tonight, okay?" Tony searched Tim's green eyes with his own, making sure he understood exactly what was being offered.

Tim nodded and Tony slipped his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, pulling them carefully over the tip of his cock and letting them fall to the floor. Tim moaned lightly and dropped his head to Tony's shoulder as he slipped a hand between their bodies and cupped his balls gently, weighing and measuring as he slid long fingers over Tim's erection.

"You shouldn't hide this light under a basket, Probie," Tony said appreciatively.

"Who says I do? Just because you ask, doesn't mean I have to tell, DiNozzo," McGee breathed against his ear, trailing a hand over Tony's ass and pulling him closer. Tim's lips descended greedily on his and Tony felt himself being gradually walked backward the short distance to the bedroom as Tim's kisses became increasingly deep and desperate. Eager hands fisted in the soft hair at the back of Tony's head, anchoring him in place until the backs of his knees brushed against the edge of a thick mattress.

Pulling away from Tim's mouth, he sat down slowly on the bed and grasped the younger man's hips, lapping up the drops of moisture that had leaked from his cock onto his belly and peppering his soft stomach with feathery kisses that had McGee humming softly and leaning in for more.

Tim sighed in disappointment as Tony leaned over and reached for the small bottle of lube that had been warming against his thigh for the last hour. He met McGee's eyes, waiting for him to make any sort of objection as he rubbed the gel across his fingertips and reached between Tim's thighs. Instead of protesting, McGee widened his stance slightly, letting out a sharp gasp that disintegrated into a low moan as Tony grazed the underside of his balls and circled a slick finger around his opening.

With expert coordination, Tony leaned down and let his lips close over the thick tip of McGee's cock at the exact moment he pushed his finger past the tight ring of muscle. Tim gave a harsh cry at the invasion which, happily, sounded more like pleasure than pain and bucked his hips wantonly into Tony's mouth.

Waiting a moment for McGee to relax and adjust, Tony slowly circled his tongue around the thick ridge of the twitching dick in his mouth, savoring the musky male taste and velvetty texture that had his own cock aching. He then mimicked the movement with the finger that was slowly stretching and preparing his partner. When Tim began to moan in rhythm with the strokes of his tongue, he added another finger, and finally another, knowing that his girth was a lot for any man and even a few women to accommodate. In most of his relationships with men he was prepared to bottom simply by virtue of his size, but he sensed instinctively that this was what McGee needed and he enjoyed being versatile when the situation presented itself.

Releasing Tim and gently withdrawing his fingers from the tight warmth of his body, Tony moved back slightly on the bed and encouraged Tim to straddle his thighs, choosing a position that would allow Tim to control the depth of penetration for his comfort while giving Tony the pleasure of being a voyeur and watching his face when the ecstasy finally took him.

Tony quickly sheathed his cock and covered himself with extra lube while Tim leaned forward and kissed his lips hungrily, placing his sweat-dampened forehead against his senior agent's.

"Can't believe we're doing this," McGee panted.

"Believe it, Probie," Tony muttered, swallowing Tim's groan as he positioned the thick head of his erection against McGee's puckered opening. He held himself in place as Tim slowly pushed backwards, circling his hips to gradually work Tony inside.

Tony exhaled sharply and gripped the sheets as the ring of outer muscle relaxed and he was suddenly surrounded by almost painfully tight warmth. McGee grunted as Tony filled him but pressed relentlessly back until the tip of Tony's cock nudged his prostate and sent shock waves rippling through his body.

The harsh crescendo of Tim's gasps and moans as he began to move set Tony's every nerve on fire and the tight shifting pressure around his cock was too much for him to bear much longer. McGee's short fingernails dug into the flesh of his chest as he pushed himself back and forth and Tony clung desperately to those tiny points of pain against the raging torrent that filled him. Burning with the need for release, he reached up and wrapped long slim fingers around the unbelievably stiff cock that leaked endlessly onto his belly. Concentrating on his partner, he watched Tim's face become a focused mask of elation as he simultaneously pumped Tony's fist and fucked his cock in short frantic strokes, his body suddenly going rigid with release and spewing thick hot jets of cum across Tony's chest.

Tim's muscles tightening and clamping around him stripped away the last of Tony's control and he gripped McGee's thighs, coming in a tight hot surge that brought his ankles and shoulders up off the bed convulsively until he finally fell back against the bed in complete and utter exhaustion.

Thankfully, Tony had the presence of mind to hang onto the condom as Tim slipped off of him and rolled to his side, sprawling spread eagle across the mattress. The sharp scent of male sex permeated the room and as both men caught their breath, Tony gradually became aware again of the rapidly cooling pool of fluid that had spread from his chest to his stomach.

"A little help here, Probie?" Tony gestured vaguely to his upper body.

"Oh god, yeah, sorry Tony." He rolled to his side and grabbed a box of Kleenex from the night stand, quickly extracting a handful and using it to clean them both up.

"Nothing to be sorry about, Tim." Tony stilled McGee's hand and flashed him a soft smile, "nothing at all."

McGee grinned somewhat sheepishly and disposed of both the tissues and the condom in the trash. Tony rose on shaky legs and quickly excused himself to the bathroom to wash off a little. When he returned, Tim was curled on his side on top of the covers facing toward the wall.

Suddenly unsure of his role again, Tony sat lightly on the bed and rested a hand on Tim's bare hip. "Hey," he said lamely.

"You don't have to stay, Tony." McGee's voice was flat and Tony knew he was in dangerous territory. He'd successfully given his friend and partner something to focus on besides the pain and self doubt, if only for a little while, but it was important that this ended well, that their partnership was still intact even if it was as dysfunctional as always.

"I want to stay if you want me to stay, Tim," he said firmly.

A shaking hand reached up to grasp Tony's forearm in answer and he slowly stretched out beside McGee and cradled the younger man's body against his, pulling a blanket over the top of them against the cool air.

The moment Tim was enfolded in Tony's arms, his shoulders began to quake as uncontrolled sobs wracked him. Tony simply held him tighter and whispered soothingly against the curve of his ear. "Just let it out, Probie. Let it all out," he cooed, drawing on reserves of sensitivity he hadn't even known were there. There was just something about McGee, a stark vulnerability that brought out his soft side, almost like taking care of a lost puppy. Where Tony's own pain was a private and largely intangible thing that he kept quietly tucked away, even from himself, McGee was a gaping wound, open for all the world to see, and Tony couldn't help thinking there was something just a little bit admirable about that.

Eventually, Tim quieted and they both drifted off to sleep. Tony's last thought as he lost consciousness was one of gratitude for the fact that Tim didn't snore nearly as loud as Gibbs or, more importantly, Ziva.

* * *

Tony woke when Tim shifted in his arms, quietly extracting himself and bouncing out of bed.

"Leaving so soon, Probie?" Tony muttered sleepily.

"I need to get to Abby's lab, have an idea I need to check out. I'm just going to shower and take off but you can stay and sleep if you want." Tim grabbed fresh clothes out of his closet and headed for the door.

"Had a moment of clarity, huh?" Tony scrubbed at his eyes with the backs of his hands, trying to shake off the half-night's sleep he'd had. "Happens to me all the time after really great sex," he grinned.

Tim blushed. "I did actually." He stopped his frantic movements and sat next to Tony on the bed. "Tony, last night…"

"Was last night, McGee. Today, we've got a job to do." He knew he had to be firm, to make a clear line about what happened and what _wasn't _going to happen in the future.

"Yeah, I know."

Tony sat up and pressed his mouth to Tim's, dragging that delicious lower lip between his teeth. "It _was_ pretty damn hot though," he whispered.

McGee blushed to the tips of his hair. "Yeah, it was."

"Off ya go, Probie. We've got a lot of work to do to find that gun." He paused in the act of extracting himself from the covers and held Tim's eye. "We _will _find it, McGee. There isn't a doubt in my mind."

Tim smiled, but there was still a tinge of sadness to it, a hint of doubt. "Thank you, Tony," he said as he disappeared into the bathroom.

Tony glanced at the clock and collapsed back against the pillows. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

**So nervous about posting this! Please let me know what you think.**

**This will be cross posted to AO3 eventually, just in case. **


End file.
